Honest Loser

Too many times I’ve said “I can lose with grace, I’ve done it plenty of times.” And it’s true. I’m not upset about it. It’s a fact.

All through middle and high school my sports teams had things stacked against us. Usually we could barely field a team. We all had multiple activities we had to split our time between, maybe jobs on top of that. And every year it seemed we had to beg SOMEONE to play to have enough people- that meant not everyone was fully invested in it.

Because of this our teams struggled. Don’t get me wrong, I HATED losing. It was even worse when it felt like we had everything going to get wins and we couldn’t. But something I had to learn was if a loss was going to happen, I could either settle or grow from it. 

Sports were my world, even when we lost, and I’m thankful for everything I learned in our wins and losses.

And now as an adult I realize the importance of losing. If you’re not ok with losing and learning, you will do anything to win- even lie and cheat. When winning is all you want, you lose the importance of simply playing the game. You lose the importance of living.

For those who cannot lose, we often also see a victim mentality and the all too common blame game.

If something is wrong it’s never their fault.

If they fail at their job someone else is the reason.

They go “above and beyond” by pulling the strings just right to ensure they always come out on top, and they don’t care who they hurt in the end.

And man it is frustrating when someone else’s’ deceit ends up hurting those you care about or yourself. 

It’s not a new thing for the “winners” to be the bad guys, for the good guys- true honest hardworking people- to be blamed, punished, or put down. It’s not the first time in my life I’ve seen people who should be winning and be celebrated be ignored. It won’t be the last time I’m disappointed by the cruelty of people who only want to look good.

I know as a high schooler in sports, losing sucked. At 19 watching people waste an opportunity I wished was mine was heartbreaking. Applying for 10 jobs and watching people I thought were my equals get the job over me was frustrating. Becoming my best self and seeing someone get what you want and half ass it is infuriating.

When you win but cheated to get there, it shouldn't count. When you kill a big deer but had to poach it, it isn't something to be proud of.

I watch a lot of sports, I see lots of losses, I see how people obtain and handle their wins.

And now as an adult I am 100% certain I’d rather be an honest loser than a desperate, cheating winner. 

Keep your head down, work hard, the wins you deserve will come to you.