Guilt Free

As humans the one thing we instinctively want is acceptance. No matter how hard we try to find it, how much we want to act like not fitting in doesn’t bother us, humans want to have a place and have others around us. It’s survival. For thousands of years safety and security came from being part of a group. Being alone has always put us at risk. Even for those people who enjoy being alone, we still have small pieces of acceptance we crave. We are part of our family, friend groups, work, maybe a team or club. We want others to see us and accept us so too often we cover or change parts of who we are to fit in.

We polish our rough parts so we don’t stand out, we don’t talk about our less popular interests so we don’t get teased, and we hide parts of who we really are.

The social conformity starts around middle school. And not everyone falls victim to it, but if you don’t you often are left alone and have to figure that out… Sometimes at 13 it’s easiest to learn to only do what’s ‘cool’ to those around you.

Stop talking about your interests that are different, be calmer when you want to be excited.  CONFORM.

It happens too often, and some people never let themselves return to who they once were before society made us believe our differences are wrong.

But recently I saw a quote that made so much sense.

“Healing as an adult is liking the things you did at 14, but guilt free.”

Even though adults still want to find a place to fit in and have acceptance, it’s not at the level of what we wanted in middle and high school (for most of us). We have a broader world view, we can see what makes us happy, our relationships may already be solid and we don’t worry about being rejected for liking things that might not be super popular.

I’ve always liked writing, but I’ve always been scared of being judged for it. Until recently I’ve realized my writing can be good, it can be bad, who cares what others think? I’m going to share what makes me happy and if others like it that’s a cherry on top.

One thing I loved as a kid- one thing that was special to my dad and me- was watching WWE. OH LORD was there so much shame even as a 9-10 year old if I mentioned how I loved John Cena. After my dad passed away I didn’t have anyone to support my interest in professional wrestling so I stopped watching. A week before welcoming our son, my husband and I were trying to find something to watch and saw Wrestlemania was on. After YEARS I sat and we watched. How odd this fell in line with John Cena’s retirement run. For months Monday nights once again meant I had a plan to watch WWE. Baby's first halloween he dressed as John Cena. I could be embarrassed about that odd interest, but it’s fine to like something not everyone does. The athleticism of these people is insane, and the storylines are better than most TV shows people constantly love talking about (Hello Dom Mysterio’s 2025 callbacks to Eddie Guerrero’s custody ladder match from 2005.)

I could talk forever about the odd interest of WWE and the nostalgia that makes it a fun watch if I have time and it’s on. And it’s not a common interest, I understand it’s silly, but I like it. You don’t have to.

At 14 I was obsessed with multiple boy bands (mostly One Direction), I loved writing, I loved peace sign selfies.

I still love all those things, but now I don’t care who thinks it’s weird. It doesn’t hurt anyone, it makes me happy, and that’s all we need in this life sometimes.

So, let this be your permission to like the weird things, teach me about your obscure interests. Give yourself grace to like the things you did at 14, and feel no shame if you’re the only one interested.