A lot in our society confuses me. But one thing that has been pretty apparent recently and has really got me thinking is the teeny tiny fine line too many people walk of loving themselves, and hating themselves. Like many things, you’re judged if you do, you’re judged if you don’t.
Every day I see so many amazing people post pictures of themselves, share the things they love, and then get judged for it. Conceited, cocky, self centered, full of themselves. These words fly out of the mouths of everyone else, simply because someone chose to share their joy and a piece of themselves. How awful! Someone found joy in a world that profits off our self hatred. Think of all the advertisements for makeup, diets, exercise programs, all working to tell you there is something wrong with you and that they can fix it.
Then I see someone talking about their struggles, all the ways they wish they could change themselves and a similar reaction is had but on the flip side. Can’t they just be happy with themselves? All they do is complain. Attention seeker.
If I love myself I’m bad. If I want to change myself I am bad.
I guess I’m just bad.
The world profits off your self doubt, and hates when you finally feel good about yourself.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve worked hard to lose weight, or come to terms with loving the healthy body you have- people are going to judge.
If you accept your natural beauty and stop wearing makeup, or if you have fun with the products that make your features pop- people are going to judge.
If you are kind to others you are a fake pushover but if you stand up for yourself you are labeled as a jerk - or in language more colorful and not for children’s ears.
The judgements never stop no matter what you do, no matter who you try to please, no matter what you try to become. Ask yourself honestly, “what have I become to please others, at the expensive of my own authenticity and happiness?”
I became a shadow of who I wanted to be. In 8th grade I was told my laugh was too loud and weird, and for a long time I only laughed silently behind my own hands instead of sharing my joy out loud. I’ve always heard comments about my weight- it’s either too high or too low- and I’m finally finding true peace with the body God blessed me with. I’ve been told I talk about my diabetes too much. That my interest in sports, FFA, and my writings aren’t important.
But this is who I am. These are things that I care about, and I’m done wondering if others care about them too. The only person I’m guaranteed to spend my life around is myself, so shouldn’t I put my own thoughts, feelings, wants and needs first? Why care about the judgements of others if I’m not hurting them?
I’m the main character of my story, so I’m going to write it how I want. Any minor characters who have a problem with that shouldn’t be in my story anyways.
Stop judging and worry about your own story.
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