When I was 17 my best friend told me she was competing in a pageant for a second time. I had never thought of myself as the type of person to do something like this. I was nerdy, the sports type, and loved FFA more than anything. But an experience of something new with my best friend sounded fun. Terrifying, but fun. And it was fun, but it didn’t feel like something I wanted to do again- not yet. 6 years later I randomly saw a post about someone competing in the pageant that summer and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So a week later I submitted paperwork.
It was a bit of a shock to everyone I knew when they found out I was competing in a pageant. I mean, I’m not the stereotypical pageant girl- I’m far from a size 2, most days mascara is my only makeup, but the interview part I had down. I had one year of experience, but I still wasn’t 100% sure what I was getting myself into.
There were a few things that made it easier though. 1- I knew a few of the girls competing and knew they were nice and would welcome me in. 2- I was confident in who I was and the work I was putting in to be my best healthy self. 3- I concluded that winning was a long shot, but I would have my fun and see how far I could make it.
There was an overwhelming sense of calm as I stepped on that stage in a swimsuit that day. I wasn’t the smallest, my heels were killing my feet, but it was fun and I wanted to enjoy every minute. When we found out they were taking all 13 contestants to finals instead of making a cut, I was frustrated in a way. If they made a cut and I was on the outside, cool at least I knew where I stood. But of course I was just happy to compete in finals and wear my second dress that I loved so much. When the pageant was over and the new Miss Wyoming USA was crowned, there were a lot of emotions from everyone. And the one that I felt most was excitement.
I told myself I would take my time, continue with what I had to do that summer, and make a decision. I had been gone at camp for 6 days when I came home knowing in my heart that I was going to compete again. I was happy with the work I put in to compete in just four months, now I had 11 months ahead of me.
But I knew I couldn’t work alone this time, so I turned to the most successful pageant girl I knew off the top of my head (thanks to listening to her podcast). Meagan Swanson is a Nebraska girl, former Miss Nebraska (America) and Miss Nebraska USA, as well as having her sister Allie who had been Miss Nebraska (America) as well. Together they have a pageant prep business called Powerhouse Pageantry and I scheduled a call to see if they would be a good fit. And of course they were! Through this group I was connected with other women competing in many different pageants from all over the country, I got the chance to have trainings and ask questions with some of the biggest names in pageants (hello former Miss USA Asya Branch and former Miss America Camille Schrier) as well as self help professionals to help us become well rounded women, AND we got to participate in mock interviews throughout the spring leading up to pageant season. This group was so welcoming, so open to helping each other, and honestly, the best part of competing this year was knowing I was supported by so many great women who only knew me online.
I loved my Powerhouse family and if any future competitors are reading this, I recommend this group to help you prep! Never did I feel like my beliefs were going to be judged or that my questions or answers would be taken the wrong way because of the care and support to create the best version of each woman and not one standard “Pageant Patty.”
I did one on one calls to solidify by storylines, the things most important to me, and how to convey it best in a short 3 minute interview. Of all my interviews I have had for FFA, jobs, or pageants included this was the one interview I felt completely ready for, and felt like I said everything I wanted to say how I wanted to say it as I left the room. Interview is my favorite form of competition.
Along with working with pageant coaches I also signed on for 6 months with a health and fitness coach. I’ve long struggled with the way I look and my health - thanks to diabetes- and again I found a group that I felt fit my needs and understood my goals. I knew I wouldn’t -couldn’t and SHOULDN’T- drop a few dress sizes to look my smallest at the pageant. I just wanted to increase my confidence in a healthy way so I could feel my best walking across that stage. The craziest part about this fitness journey? I learned I was undereating when I started, my coach increased my calories by 700 calories through the first couple months, and…. I didn’t gain any weight. I also didn’t lose any weight on the scale, but the way my clothes fit, the way I looked in my progress photos, it was doing what I had hoped. Eating more, lifting heavy, and looking better. Much love for my fitness coach Alli for working with me and being an angel in understanding me and helping me rephrase what my goals were and still are.
SO, finally, going into the 2022 pageant I felt like I was actually prepared and was doing what was best for me. The list of girls competing was full of ones that I knew, and I was excited to meet the ones I didn’t. My life was VERY crazy the two weeks leading up to the pageant and I was feeling pretty run down the day before, but I knew how important this was to myself in the long run (and how much money it cost to get here) so I was going to do all I could to show the best me I had become.
Man, did I.
I know a lot of people probably saw me, or have since seen the pictures, and wondered how I made top 9. I’m not a big girl in the real world, but in pageants I am, there is no denying it. I know that my size is probably a question mark for a lot of people, and as I stood waiting for the 8th name to be called (I knew I wasn’t #9 cause that was for People’s Choice winner and I knew that wasn’t me) I wasn’t angry. I figured it wasn’t me, I knew there were so many amazing women left next to me, but hearing my name called for that final spot, just after the girl I (hoped/prayed/dreamed) expected to win the crown, I felt this insane sense of self assuredness.
I showed up, as the truest and healthiest me and made finals. I know I keep saying I was my “healthiest” but after the struggles I have had with my body and how I look (for another post another day) this was reassurance I needed that I could succeed in my goals at my current weight. It told me that my interview and personability, my energy on stage, and just who I was, was enough.
I was proud of the girls called into top 5 and while I wanted to be one of them, I know they all worked hard to be there too and deserved everything they got. I was honored to win the Spokesmodel award, and I was arguably one of the top 5 most excited people in that auditorium when Morgan became Miss Wyoming USA 2022. Everything she is represents Wyoming beautifully, the way she treats others is what I aspire to do, and seeing pictures of her goats always brightens my day. The pageant ended perfectly with the crown on her head, and peace in my heart.
Since that day almost two months ago, I’ve gone back and forth contemplating my future in pageants. There are other systems I could try to represent Wyoming in, there are 3 more years until I age out of USA, but reflecting on what I felt that night it’s hard to think I can do it again. Everything just felt so right. It felt like the end of a great book. There’s no need to write a sequel when the book already solved everything.
Not everything was sunshine and rainbows in preparation for the pageant. Not everyone I encountered was a positive person. I do have questions for where the system, and pageants as a whole may be headed. But that’s okay. I don’t need to have a title to make a difference- no one ever does. I just know that I worked hard to be proud of myself on that stage, and I wouldn’t be who I am without at least trying.
Xx,
Sydnie Eller
Miss Yellowstone USA 2022
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