Weight of the World

I’m quickly learning to hate the internet and social media more and more. It’s not even by the month or week or day, I’m hating it more by every hour, minute, second. I know many people still use it for good. They use it for connection, for sharing good ideas and correct information. But by golly, you cannot turn off the addition of negativity, false narratives, armchair experts and devastating news that tends to bombard us when we least expect it, and when our mental health needs it the absolute least. 

My husband and I decided to delete a certain video platform app off our phones in early January. As much as I knew I’d miss the laughs, the recipes, and quick access to information, it’s been more positive than negative and I don’t want to go back. Because for every video that I enjoyed or gained something from, the next one was negative or unnecessary. I’ve even had a couple days I’ve logged out of an app because I knew what I would have to deal with if I even clicked on it.

From September through January that usually is the case as everyone wants to give their two cents on sports, and I can’t shut off the things that make me feel bad online. Disconnecting is the only option. 

Social media is a monster because if you interact with something once, or linger on a video a bit too long, anything and everything relating to that is suddenly flooding your feed. 

That thing you enjoy that once brought you happiness can turn dark when post after post suddenly is a hate train. 

I clicked on a post about the stats of a basketball player (I only follow one team but enjoy a few players from other teams) and while it was a great post about his rising numbers, the first comment was calling him out for one thing he did wrong in a recent game.

I’m sure everyone is aware of the negativity that can surround any athlete following their team’s loss.

Yeah. The loss of a team blamed on one person.

Because we always want that one athlete to rise up and save everyone at any given moment, and when they fail to be super human it’s their fault. Not the lack of teammates who can step up and help. Not management and ownership who can’t acquire more talent to bring championships to the city. No. It’s the fault of one person when they can’t put on the cape and turn into Superman.  

I tricked you. While negativity and social media can feel like the weight of the world, this isn’t about that completely. From where I’m standing there’s one person who has the weight of the world on their shoulders, and one person who is often crucified online that pulls at my heart the most when I witness it.

Josh Allen and the Bills can’t be eliminated from the playoffs without me getting deep and reflective.

As I sit here planning to go back to work tomorrow to hear my students discuss that tough game, that tough loss, and yes, the blemished performance of the player they know is my favorite, I have to think of the lessons we can learn.

Surely Josh Allen and the Bills have learned many lessons from their unfortunately many heartbreaking seasons. The internet seems to have it figured out so why can’t the people in charge, why can’t the players? This year when even more was up for Josh Allen, how could he have the game he had against Denver?

Well, have you ever had that type of weight on your shoulders? Have you been asked to “become Superman” twenty weeks in a row? 

Most people don’t even give 80% twenty weeks of the year, players like Josh Allen are asked to put their whole team, their whole city, their whole franchise, on their back and any slip up no matter how small gets critiqued and criticized until the internet feels it’s over. And then it’s brought up again and again at the next misstep.

I love that Josh got his recognition and was finally acknowledged for just how much he brings to his team when he won MVP last year, but I also had the realization after he accepted that it meant he had to do even more this year or he’d be ridiculed once more. The man couldn’t enjoy his first year of marriage without people using his and his wife’s jobs against him. (She’s a killer actress and her performance was provocative but the best actors make you FEEL.) and I get it. His job does matter more than others. His job is to compete and succeed, but again, in a team sport. The poor man got nasty comments after announcing they are expecting their first child (hello Josh, thanks for copying me and my life timeline yet again). He couldn’t even enjoy his Jersey retirement without him being blamed for his Alma Mater struggling this season. Anything he does seems to be judged and questioned, on and off the field. 

He’s not the only one, but as someone who gets tasked with defending and explaining what is said about him to 10-12 year olds most Monday mornings, I’ve become quite aware of what the internet thinks of Josh Allen and I feel media trained in defending him, explaining things, and sometimes yes even owning up to his mistakes.

If you’ve made it this far let’s pause and recap.

The internet can bring the weight of the world onto our shoulders.

Athletes often have that weight of the world multiplied.

Josh Allen broke after the divisional loss to the Broncos - and maybe even mid game- because of the constant weight of the world.

He’s compared to Joe Burrow, and Patrick Mahomes a lot and yeah, I acknowledge they are good quarterbacks, but there’s a difference.

A well rounded team makes a successful team, not one person in the leader position.

Star receivers, star defenders, it all comes together to bring success. Not one player everyone constantly says “they can do it if he becomes Superman” about.

I’m not going to talk about controversies of the game when my kids ask. I’m not going to defend Josh for the mistakes he made. I’ll try to make a lesson out of something that hurt my heart.

When my students want to talk about it I’ll try to teach.

Have you ever had thousands of people watching your every move? Have you ever been asked to do the job of 10+ people as one person? Have you ever done all this while physically hurting and still trying to give 110%? Have you had to do anything with that kind of weight on your shoulders?

Josh Allen gets a lot of hate for what he has failed to do in the last 5 years, but he rarely gets recognized for the many records he sets, and accolades that come his way.

For every 5 minutes of gratitude the world shows him he gets about a week of hate.

Yes. Josh Allen had several turnovers, he messed up several times. He also had amazing moments and continued to give his all as long as he could.

So I’ll tell my students that these athletes are showing us mistakes happen, and sometimes they break you, sometimes it doesn’t matter in the long run. While several people made mistakes this weekend- Josh Allen, Bo Nix, CJ Stroud, Drake Maye- we will only see one lead his team towards the end goal. 

All these men are great leaders, great teammates, great people. Above all else that is what matters. How will these men live in the off season when they are just people? That’s where we learn the most from them. Away from the spotlight, away from the crowds, away from the weight of the world.

We can judge people based on how they perform under pressure but I’m more interested in how they respond after.

That’s what I’ll discuss with my students, and someday that’s what I hope to teach my son.

And- even when they lose it’s okay to still cheer for a team. It doesn’t define the players and you can still look towards the next game.

Between now and then Josh Allen gets to win the true prize, and join in the glory of parenthood. The weight of the world doesn’t matter when you get that.