Grace Not Excuses

As long as I can remember I’ve believed in the idea of all or nothing. Why do anything halfway? Either give it your all or don’t even try. 

We see people fall into this pattern in lots of things in life. Diets, relationships, jobs. That way of thinking usually ends in failure- at least it has for me.

There were several times I’ve started workout plans, missed a day, and then that fell into three or four days. Instead of saying “whoops, not my plan” and just moving forward, I’d either quit, or force myself to start over. One missed day isn’t the end of the world, but if you let it derail everything it becomes a lot harder to reach the end goal.

As I’ve come into a new season of life (hello motherhood) I’ve learned how important it is to actually give yourself grace, while still holding yourself accountable.

The early days with a newborn are a whirlwind of trying to figure things out on very little sleep. There’s not much time to figure out what to eat, let alone be able to make a good meal and have time to eat it. I gave myself grace when I needed to order DoorDash and fill my belly with ANYTHING to keep moving. Who cares if it was mostly chicken strips and mozzarella sticks? I could have done 1 of 2 things.

I could have hated myself for eating poorly in those early weeks. I could have settled on that being my new normal and letting fast food take over.

OR (what I did do) I could realize I was in survival mode, that was the easiest option for food, and once I figured out a thing or two I’ve been able to focus more on healthier meal options during the day.

Another time I’ve seen myself (and often others) in life take to this all or nothing way of living is in relationships. If it’s not perfect it is over. In a day and age where comparison overrides reality, we are made to believe everyone around us has it all together and we have to as well. If you follow celebrities or influencers and think their relationships are perfect and you can never measure up, I can guarantee you are wrong. Before, I believed everything had to always be peachy keen to make a lasting relationship. In the real world though I have realized that’s false.

Relationships are connecting two different people with different feelings and ideas and sometimes we as humans mess up or disagree. That doesn’t mean the relationship is over. It’s not 100% perfect or broken. Relationships need grace too.

I could go on and on about the ways I have tried to sabotage myself because of the idea if it’s not perfect it’s not worth it. And while sometimes that may be true, more than anything I have come to realize two things can be true.

We can be honest about a situation, consider the difficulties we face, and honor that we may not always get it right. But in that acceptance, we can’t let that turn into excuses that lead to giving up or not even trying.

Yes I will have days my body needs more rest because life is hectic, I don’t feel 100%, my schedule is too full, mentally I need a break. But I cannot let the grace I give myself in these moments turn into a habit of making excuses. 

Are you giving yourself grace, or making excuses? When it comes to your health, your relationships, your career, understand 100% every day isn’t sustainable. But don’t let that become a habit of giving the bare minimum. 

I give myself grace for the moments I fail to be my best, but I will not let myself get in my own way when effort is possible.